You'll be fine, I Promise
On mental health day, I wanted to create a series of posters to raise awareness on depression and suicide.
I tried to do this through a series of 3 posters alongside write-ups that were curated by a close friend.
Trigger warning: Depression & Suicide
I wanted to portray a journey to better mental health with 3 core emotions that one feels while trying to get better
My depression talks to me. “Do it. It’s the easier way out. You’ve loaded the bullets already why are you thinking so much? Too much blood? Alright fine. Here, take these pills. They’ll put you to sleep but you won’t wake up. That’s what you want don’t you? To sleep and never wake up? To run and never come back? To escape? Deep down that’s what you’re looking for aren’t you?
I love the resilience in you. You’ve got a bit of fight In you. Maybe you’ll win. I don’t know. What I know is till the day you win I will be here, eating at you from the inside. My job is Simple honey, I take your happy little world and I turn it upside down. I consume and poison every minute of your waking day as you start loathing yourself for what you’ve become, For how low you’ve fallen. I laugh as I watch you scream into your pillow painfully at 3 in the morning because you’ve not got anyone to talk to. I see you hopelessly washing your face and staring at yourself in the mirror thinking it’s all over. I’m always there. Like a shadow over your shoulder, I’m always watching. Always breathing down your neck. Reminding you of who you really are, of all that happened to you, and of how you’ll never be enough.
I get to witness your soul crumble into dust, when you tell someone what’s happening to you and they tell you to man up. I like seeing that hopelessness in your eyes. It gives me joy, it truly does. I love how much it hurts you when you tell them how you’re suffering and they tell you it’s just a phase.
I love seeing you depressed.
I love seeing you cry.
I love seeing you at your lowest.
Because just when you think it couldn’t get worse.
I drop you even lower.” - My Depression
Call 022 2754 6669 if you’re having suicidal thoughts. Talk to your closest friends and tell them you need therapy. The suicide prevention hotline is always open. You’re not in this alone. Together, We can fight depression.
“Recognising you have depression is the first step to recovery.”
“So I’m suffering from depression?” “Yes, you are.” It’s not easy to come to terms with hard facts. More often than not we’re used to being on the receiving end of sugar-coated words giving us momentary peace. So when your therapist tells you you’re suffering from clinical depression you kind of freak out. “Oh..So that’s why I’ve been feeling this way”
I hated myself, my family, my friends, I guess I hated life maybe?
It’s not easy to talk about that stage of my life, much less write about it. It needs to be done though.
When you’re depressed you’re fighting a battle every single day. You don’t feel like waking up and moving, but you have to. You don’t wanna talk to anyone, but how do you not respond to your mum asking you if everything’s fine? You feel like sleeping in all day long, but for a 20 something year old, it’ll just attract more attention, and attention is bad. Very Bad.
Attention leads to conversations, and conversations are truly the last thing you want. I used to hide all the time. I used to cry all the time.
My eyes were red and sore all the time. I got so good at hiding it that once I almost convinced myself that everything’s fine. You suffer day in and day out, you’re sad all the time. It’s hard to be human when you’re sad.
You have stupid thoughts, and you feel like giving up. You can’t though.
You come to terms with it, you accept it, and you fight through it.
Thats what Depression taught me, to keep pushing, to keep fighting, to keep going. I may or may not come out the other side, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to let it win.
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” - Winston Churchill
“......And as my dad died. And then my friend Avicii died, and then my friend Mac died. And one day I’m gonna die, but before that I’m gonna live live live the way I wanna live..... I hope you do too” - Mike Posner
It does get easier. I know you don’t believe me right now but trust me for once on this. You’ll wake up one day and you’ll be just fine. I promise.
The best part is you won’t feel bad about it, you won’t fear that this happiness won’t last forever. You’ll smile at yourself in the mirror every morning, you’ll laugh at the little things, you’ll be grateful for everything that life throws at you. You’ll walk with a strut in your step and a tune on your lips.
Most importantly, you’ll be happy.
You’ll realise there is an infinite amount of love in you, and every day that love will radiate through your body. You’ll laugh, scream, dance, run, rejoice, and you’ll live. Thats what you’ll do, you’ll live again.
No one could have possibly gone through what you did. You were stuck in a deep dark well and when all hope seemed to be lost, you brought yourself together and made the climb. Look how far you’ve come now. I know you can see the light now, you’re almost there.
So hold on for a little bit, because before it gets better it gets rough. The last few pulls out of that well are going to need everything you’ve got.
You know how the saying goes, “The night is darkest just before the dawn.” You will make that climb. You will be free again. You will smile genuinely, live beautifully, and you’ll love like you’ve never loved before. You WILL make it.
You’ll wake up one day and you’ll be just fine.